Recently I saw this image online:
For anyone who is unfamiliar with Supernatural, you probably won’t understand why that makes complete sense. And if you don’t watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, you won’t understand this other version of the analogy I came up with:
I recommend both of these hilarious TV shows by the way.
As an introvert, I completely recognize myself in such analogies. I’ve been shy for a long time, but it was only after highschool that I realized how much other people’s perception of me differed from how I saw myself.
Once a friend said to me that she found it interesting that I dressed up in such a colorful and original way considering what kind of person I was. I hadn’t tought of my personality and my style as contradictory and it left me wondering about how others saw me. Then another friend told be he was glad he got to know me better, because he had initially thought that I was a very boring person.
Boring? Me? I could have imagined myself has having many bad qualities, but boring was not one of them.
That’s when I realized that I’m a lot more fun in my own head than I am to the rest of the world.
I simply don’t translate my thoughts and emotions well. This is certainly why although I appreciate friends and family a lot, I don’t always express my feelings clearly and efficiently to them. It’s probably also why my facial expressions don’t match what I feel. I guess it’s why I think the only person who really knows me is my husband, because when I’m with him I think out loud. He seems to think that I’m hilarious.
So I guess I’m not boring, I’m damn funny. It’s just too bad the rest of the world doesn’t know it. Castiel and Fluttershy indeed.
I don’t have the best social skills, I sometimes look like a robot with no emotions and I don’t show what I think and feel in a way people can have any idea of the party that’s going on in my head. I’m even a little fearful of others, especially in situations in which I have to meet a group of strangers and break the ice : I’ll avoid a meet and greet almost any day if I don’t have at least one person I know going with me.
And yet, I sometimes find it surprising that some people tell me that I am nice and that can listen to them very well. It’s happened several times while I was conducting interviews and discussions in a professional setting. I am happy when the care I have for others actually translates clearly, and when people can feel that I respect and appreciate them. Because introverts, while they might seem anti-social, have low social skills and even occasionally (or often) avoid the company of others, actually like people.
Afterall, there’s a difference between being fine or enjoying being alone, and feeling lonely.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think anyone enjoys feeling lonely. I certainly don’t, so I’m grateful for friends and family I get along with. I also try to make efforts to meet new people and maintain new friendships, and occasionally reach out to people I lost contact with.
But I avoid trying to break my shell too violently. I’m sure it would be fun to be a liberated, fun, energetic and extroverted lean, mean, assertive machine (hehehe). However, that’s simply not who I am. I just don’t think there’s anything wrong with being an introvert. I like myself as I am. The fact that I am an introvert only means that once I am friends with someone, our friendship isn’t simply a superficial one. I don’t have a problem with that.
Even if the party stays in my head.